•April 17, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Broken wings, filled with rage.
Living in an empty cage.

One more day, then the next.
Each one, just hoping for the best.

Why am I here? I don’t know,
My life is just one big show.

I want to hope, I want to dream,
I want to know what life means.

I’m locked, wrapped in chains,
I don’t even know my name.

I want to live, I want to be free,
but what I don’t know… the jailer is me.



•November 6, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The lies that we tell ourselves to keep us sane, they lay in our chests and tumble round our brains.
The lies that we tell ourselves to keep us sane, make our hearts heavy and slowly rot our brains.
The lies that we tell ourselves to keep us sane, they stay on our minds until we slowly go insane.

Blond VS Brunett

•August 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment


First Ever

•June 14, 2012 • Leave a Comment


My first ever attempt at using acrylic paints.

•June 9, 2012 • Leave a Comment


Good Friday everyone…

ok...i finally figured out how to do these fancy music wrapped candles that are becoming so popular everywhere.  and, i spent a whopping $2.50!!  i bought a two pack of regular candles from the Lobby (my personal slang for Hobby Lobby) for 4.99.  a bargain compared to what these babies retail for….


first:  dig out the oh-so-ancient-i-haven’t-used-since-1994 heat gun

come on…you know you have one somewhere….if not, you can buy one at your local hardware/craft/hobby store.  they are actually inexpensive and will come in handy on other projects.  i found this element key to the project as the heat gun allows for an even, smooth surface on your candle.  also, it prevents bumps on the surface caused by using glue or other adhesives (like i have seen on similar projects).

second: copy/print out your image on to tracing paper

yes, tracing paper.  it works better…

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My life as a fairy-tale

•June 8, 2012 • Leave a Comment


*Please note this was written about 4 years ago while I was in boarding school and the ending is fictional.



Hannah had the perfect life, she lived in a castle and had pretty dresses and tiaras and things, I mean she was a princess… what more could a girl want? Hannah got to go to balls with handsome princes and had everything she ever wanted. Her life was perfect.

Until one day as she was strolling through the palace gardens, she noticed a young man out hunting. Instantly she was attracted to him. Though he was not handsome like the princes she got to associate with. She was not a shy girl and she went up to talk to him, he introduced himself as James, he was the most interesting man she had ever met. This continued for many weeks. She would meet the young man and they would just talk. Soon they fell in love. The princess decided to make this young man her boyfriend. Though she knew her parents would not be happy, he was not a prince, he did not have money, and he was quite a bit older than she. The night she told her parents about her young man was not a happy one. Her father the king did not say much but he was not impressed, and the queen lost her temper when she herd, she stomped about saying how in appropriate the relationship was. But after a long confrontation Hannah won and got to keep her man, but this now meant she had to introduce him to her parents, and no young man likes to meet the parents.

When her parents met him they soon began to see what Hannah herself saw, a charming and sensitive man. James ended up moving into the castle after awhile. He ended up living off her parents and although her parents had money they did not like this, if truth be told they were starting to detest the situation very much. James sensed this change and also started feeling uncomfortable about the situation.

One day a strange visitor arrived at the castle, it was James’ family, they lived very far away and had come a long way to take him home as they had missed him terribly. At first James did not want to go. He did not want to leave Hannah and Hannah did not want him to leave. But James was still ill at ease with the situation with Hannah’s parents, and he decided to go home with his family. He asked Hannah to go with him, but she was too young to leave her parents, she still had two more years till she could leave. So James decided to keep up their relationship through letters and when two years came Hannah would move up with him. The day was a sad one when James left. Hannah cried terribly, she did not want James to depart, it was breaking her heart.

After James left Hannah got herself into all sorts of mischief to keep her mind off missing James. She snuck out of her castle and would go to parties by her self and her parents did not approve of her new acquaintances. But Hannah did not care. In the end her parents decided to send her away to a castle for young girls and boys, it was a kind of prison where she would go to school and be kept out of trouble. The moment Hannah arrived she wanted to leave, it was nothing like what she was used to. She kicked and screamed when it came time for her parents to go home. That night Hannah cried herself to sleep. Each day was worse than the last, she had no friends and the girls were so mean. The food was bad and she did not eat and school was so hard. Finally Hannah made a friend. His name was Mark, he was a few years older than she but was really good to talk to, he helped cheer her up a little.

Every day Hannah would write to James and tell him her troubles. When she told him about Mark, he was not happy at all. He used his letters to express how mad he was at her, for hugging another guy, for them falling asleep on lounges together, he wrote to her telling her “this behaviour is unacceptable, would you approve of me behaving like this?” and things along those lines. After awhile, Hannah stopped looking forward to James’ letters, everyone was another fight, another lecher on her behaviour, but she did not see what was so wrong about her behaviour?

Hannah and James were trying to plan how Hannah would get would get up to him after she was let out of her prison at 18. But as hers and James’ fighting worsened he began to accuse her of not trying, that she didn’t want to see him. In the end Hannah decided “Desperate times call for desperate measures!”

That was when her quest began. First she plotted her escape from her hell like prison. She decided the whole sheets out the window at night trick would be a good start. So she started gathering food at every meal, then one night she silently packed up her bags, she grabbed practical clothing and food and water, only necessary things for her trip, she had to say good bye to her nice clothes, and make up and other nice things. She made sure to stuff her bed so it looked like she was sleeping, just in case somebody decided to check on her. It was a rough trip down her curtains but she made it all the way down safely. By the time she reached the bottom she was scratched up and dirty. It was quite light almost dawn when she reached the bottom and she knew she would have to run. She quickly moved into the forest where she could no longer be seen.

Hannah only had a vague idea as to where she was heading, but she knew she had to walk in a general south direction, and she knew where the first town south of the castle was located. She walked fast making good time and reached the next town just before lunch. She decided that by now there would be people looking for her so she must travel at night and stay hidden at day. She went to the local tavern in the town and asked if she might have one nights accommodation if she was to work there for the rest of the day and some of the next. The taverns owner agreed. Hannah was surprised that the owner had not found this at all strange, that was until she caught a glimpse of her self in a small well as she stopped for a drink, she no longer looked like a princess but indeed a rather shabby looking working girl. As Hannah was a princess she had never really worked a day in her life, she did not think that work would be hard, the people she had seen working made it look easy. The owner worked her hard and made her scrub the dishes and floors, Hannah cried as she worked and hurt herself many times, it took Hannah awhile but she completed her chores and when she finally got to lay down in bed she was very grateful. She awoke late the next afternoon making sure she had gotten as much sleep as possible, she only had to sweep a few floors that after noon so it wasn’t too hard and soon enough she was on her way again.

As she continued on her journey she looked down on her now blistered hands, they were no longer the hands of a princess, rather the hands of a house maid. On her way out she had asked for some more directions to the city in which James now lived. So now she knew the next part of the way. She had to cross through a big forest, the owner of the tavern had said on foot this journey would take five nights in the forest. He felt a little sorry for her and gave her some bread and cheese for those nights. As the forest loomed up before it she got a little scared and wanted to go back to her parents. But she thought of James’ sweet face and decided to go on. This was the furthest she had ever been before, as a kid her parents had told her the forest had no end and that it was much to dangerous to enter, as she had gotten older she realized that the forest must end somewhere, but now she was worried about just when she would come out.

There was a big clear path leading into the forest, the owner of the tavern had told her to stick to this path at all times, that wondering off would mean being lost forever in the forest until she finally lost her life due to starvation, thirst, or being eaten by some wild animal. He had been quite descriptive about the ways in which she may die. Hannah guessed this was to ensure she was much to scared to wonder from the path.

She started to walk into the forest, at first she walked slowly, looking all around her and paying close attention to her surroundings, but as she walked further into the darkness an increased sense of fear wrapped around her, she started to walk faster and faster, her pace increasing with every step. Before she knew it she could no longer see the gap of light where she had first entered the forest. She was almost running until she tripped over some unseen ground, she stubbled and fell to the ground, hurting her ankle in the process. As Hannah sat uncomfortably on the ground, she felt stupid, there was no point in running, its not like that would really get her out tonight, and there was no way she could run for two days. She would just have to deal.

The first night Hannah spent in the forest was so uncomfortable; she had rocks in her back the whole night. Every little sound woke her, and she was so paranoid about the animals. The second night was better, she cleared the rocks before laying down to sleep and she was not as scared now. On the third night, Hannah prepared for sleep as she had done so the night before, clearing ground and laying down the blanket she slept on. She must have only been asleep a few short hours when she was woken suddenly, at first she was confused as to why she had woken, but then she herd loud boot steps. Hannah quickly ducked off the path into the bushes on the side. She feared thieves. But to her surprise it was not thieves but her fathers soldiers, as she peered out at the from behind the leaves she realized she had left her blanket lying in plain sight. As the soldiers approached, the commanding officer spotted the blanket lying on the ground. “she must have only just have come through here, lets increase the pace to a run!” he commanded his soldiers. After that close encounter Hannah decided to keep off the path but only far enough in the forest that she could not be seen, and close enough so she would not loose sight of the path.

Hannah thought her plan of keeping hidden was working well, since then she had spotted the group of soldiers once again but not had to worry to much. But on what should have been her last night, Hannah tripped over a hidden tree root and quickly lost sight of the path. She wondered around trying to find the path and lost a whole day trying to get herself back on track. On her sixth night, she awoke to find a small dirty looking girl standing over her bag eating what little food she had left. She quietly crept up behind the girl and grabbed her tightly, “And what do you think your doing?” snarled Hannah, she did not like people touching her things. The small girl started to wriggle but Hannah refused to let go. Hanna decided that this girl might just be Hannah’s way out of the forest. “do you know your way out of the forest?” Hannah quietly asked the young girl. She gave Hannah a dirty look and didn’t reply. Hannah loosened her grip a little, “my name is Hannah.” she said softly “I’m lost, I need to get out of here, if you help me I’ll give you some more food” at that statement the small girl’s eyes lit up “I’m Gabby!” she piped up, “I can take you out of this forest”

It turned out that the girls were only half a days walk from the exact place Hannah had been hoping to come out at. As Gabby led Hannah through the forest, she learnt about how Gabby had ended up in the forest. It turns out that Gabby was an orphan, her parents had been attacked by thieves as they travelled through the forest a couple of years ago when Gabby was only eight, and Gabby had been living there ever since. When they reached the edge of the forest Gabby was reluctant to leave, she had not been out of the forest for two years. But Hannah insisted she came.

Hannah took Gabby to another tavern, this time Hannah didn’t want to work in order to stay the night, so she tried to make the tavern owner feel sorry for the girls, unfortunately the owner did not give in, she told the girls they could stay only if they had money to pay or Hannah worked for her bed. In the end Hannah gave in and worked for their beds. This time Hannah worked a little harder and complained and cried less, and she found that it was easier, took less time and she also hurt herself less. That night Hannah fed Gabby and cleaned her up a bit. There was a rich guest staying at the tavern and she had over herd about poor Gabby. She decided that Gabby needed a home and since she could not have children she thought that this would “kill two birds with one stone”. But when Gabby heard this she started to cry and said she didn’t want to live with anyone who wanted to kill birds like that. This made the lady laugh and she slowly explained that “it was just a saying, I’m not really going to kill any birds!” which made Gabby cheer up a bit.

So since Gabby was off to a good home Hannah decided to stay another night at the tavern and rest while she figured out the next part of her journey. The next day as she was working hard Hannah looked up to find a familiar face staring down at her. “James!” she screamed as she got up and ran towards him. “What are you doing here?” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly.

“I came to find you baby!” he said in a matter of fact tone. “I had guards at my house two days ago looking for you, they thought you might have been with me” he told her “I got worried when I herd this thinking you might have gotten lost in the forest, and came looking. And here I am”

“Wow were you really worried about me?” Hannah asked

“Sure was!” replied James.

After that Hannah left with James and rode off into the sunset to live out the rest of her fairy-tale life with him.

The End

By Nicole Bell


•June 8, 2012 • Leave a Comment


As he drifted around the dark empty courtyard, she was watching him. She wondered how he did it. He moved so gracefully, like he wasn’t even walking, more like drifting along. He looked like something from another world, and as she was thinking that, she wondered how he could have ever done the things he had admitted, things so horrible that if anyone else found out, his punishment would be death. At this thought, she knew she must carry this secret to her death. It was in that moment in which she vowed to protect him, even if it killed her…

The first time she had seen him was the day he had got to town. He had been quiet and blended in well, he had been hardly noticeable. But she had noticed him. She had always been a happy chatty person, but over the next month, as she watched him, she changed. She began to think more deeply, and became more quiet and mature. As she gained more confidence she began to follow him until she found where he was living. She walked quietly up to the small abandoned house just outside the town… she knocked, he answered, she walked in, and not a single word was spoken.

This continued for a couple of weeks. Each time she would stay for a couple of hours then leave. They never talked but it seemed right. They had a bond that was so much stronger than words.

The first thing she said to him was “I love you” it was strange but it was how she felt, and she had never been one for keeping her feelings to herself. The only reply she got from him was “I know” it was not said in a nasty way but in the kind of way that said ‘me to… I just can’t say so yet’. She used her visits to think, and when she thought, she thought about him, always him.

The next time she came to his house, he told her everything… everything he had done. She should have felt scared, but she didn’t. He asked her if she still loved him, she replied softly with “more than ever”.

Afterwards, she asked his name. It had been so strange being in love with a person whose name she did not know. When he told her, she said it once. “Trey” she murmured, and she knew she would never say that name out loud again.

That night she took him back to her house. She told herself that they would be together forever, but in reality she wasn’t so sure.

Then the whispers started. the rumours of the deaths. When she heard them she knew the riders were on their way. She knew that they were going to come for him, and she could not let that happen. She remembered the vow she had made that night in the courtyard the night she had brought him home, and she knew she would never be able to break it. And she knew what she had to do. She ran home and started to pack. She grabbed him and the horses and they left that night. This meant leaving behind her life, her friends, and the thing she dreaded parting with the most; her identity, the only thing that reminded her of her past. She would have to say goodbye to nice, pleasant, chatty, beautiful, blond Kayla and choose a new name to suit her new personality. Maybe she would be boring, quiet, Kate, who kept to herself and always pretended to be invisible.

That night she had nightmares. It was the first time since she was a small child. And now she couldn’t go hind in her parents’ bed and cuddle up and feel their love. She dreamed of the riders, the dark cloaked men on horses. They came from another place, not part of this world, They came and tracked down the people with unforgivable sins. They knew all your darkest secrets and fears, nobody could hide from them. When they got hold of you they took you back to their world, it was some kind of hell, they relived your worst memories and made you live your worst fears, they tortured you, as if you hadn’t had enough of that already. She could never let that happen to him!

She found his note on her pillow the next morning when she woke. It told her that he shouldn’t have dragged her into this, that he was so sorry. It also told her that he would come and find her when he had found the redemption he needed. She knew she had come too far to go back now. She no longer existed. So she went after him.

She travelled until she reached the place where it happened, it was a small village in a forest near a stream on her planet named Sibble. She had to find the kid. His name was Justin and he was Trey’s brother. Trey had left him to die by himself in the forest because whenever Trey had looked at him, he had only saw their father standing in his place. The father he had murdered.

She went looking for Justin. She looked for a long time, maybe a couple of days. She eventually found him unconscious in the forest. It looked like he had not eaten in days. She woke him up and told him she was going to help him, he was too desperate to refuse. She took Justin back to the old house. They found Trey sitting against a wall, looking very sorry for himself. He was muttering to himself about how he would never find Justin. When Justin saw Trey he tried to run. She had to calm him down and try to explain that Trey wasn’t going to hurt him. She could tell that the small boy didn’t believe her.

She told trey quietly that it was finally time to explain to his brother what had happened. A far away pained expression clouded his face and he started to tell they story…

It had been around lunch time, he had just been eating some sort of new fruit he had found, he had started to feel a bit strange. Paranoid thoughts were running through his mind. ‘They are evil, they are possessed, they are going to kill you’ that’s what the little voices in his head chanted at him. He waited until his parents where distracted, then he grabbed his dad, there was quiet a struggle but Trey’s anger made him strong. He took his father outside and nailed him to a cross on the front of the house. Then he quickly went after his mother. She had been screaming and crying at him to stop but had barely herd her. He tied her to the front gate where she had a clear view of her husband. He walked quickly back to his father. He didn’t know what came over him, he started to calve intricate designs into his father’s chest and stomach, and then left him there to die.

He then walked over and untied his mother, she tried to run but there was no point, Trey was too fast and too strong. He led her over to a small well that was beside the house, he paused and looked at her, and his eyes were blank. He pushed her down the well. He didn’t even hear her screams as the leaches attached themselves to her body. He ran, and he didn’t stop.

Trey didn’t remember the next couple of days. His next memory was of waking up in the abandoned house just outside the town where Kayla had lived. Trey had not had a clue what had happened to Justin, but he didn’t really care. All he wanted to do was forget… Now he had finally realised that he couldn’t ignore this, he had to find Justin. That was why he had come back, to seek redemption. He had found a little of the redemption he was seeking by coming after his brother, but he knew he had a long way to go yet… He doubted that he would ever be able to fully get his brother to forgive him, and he never would be the same. He really wanted for this to be a happily ever after story, but he didn’t believe in those. So as he got ready for his new day, he made sure he had all the patience he could find, and he prepared himself for defeat.